Musical diversity the perfect antidote to after-effects of English exits

Entering a musical maelstrom seems to be a fair way to end a momentous week of events. Jokes about England leaving Europe twice within a couple of days have abounded since the earth-shaking Britexit vote followed by the equally devastating 2-1 defeat to Iceland in Euro 2016. So what better way to float off into a parallel universe than sample a set by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard at the Governor of Hindmarsh Hotel on Thursday evening. The Melbourne psychedelic/garage rockers have caught my attention over the past few months with raucous, frantic tracks being aired on various radio channels — notably Radio Adelaide, 3D and Triple J. They seem a prolific bunch with the amount of the material they have released since 2010. So I took a punt on two recent albums — Paper Mâché Dream Balloon and Nonagon Infinity.

The sounds are definitely “off the wall” and both CDs, to my ear, sound radically different. There is so much flute on the Paper Mâché Dream Balloon effort that I thought Ian Anderson, of Jethro Tull fame, must have been involved in production proceedings. When buying the albums and also when purchasing my ticket from the Gov, I was told how amazing the band were. “They are playing a gig, you know,” I was informed. “I know, I’m going to be there,” was my reply. I just needed a crash course into some of the band’s back catalogue to be familiar with at least some of the breakneck-speed tunes that are going to be thrashed out.

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Then on Saturday, just to prove that not everything English has fallen off the cultural cliff completely, it’s away to the Last Night of the Proms at Adelaide’s Festival Hall. This in its own way should be completely off the dial. I have never been to see a live orchestra ever before so a bit of self-indulgence will be on the menu as the Adelaide Symphony Orchestra offers its own interpretations of such stirring anthems as Land of Hope and Glory, Rule Britannia plus Jerusalem. All that should put a smile back on some of the Anglophile faces, who have endured a turbulent few days.

But there is no escaping the fact that the English are peerless at dishing out sporting humiliation. The national football team have been doing it for years, though the Iceland debacle took things to another level. Mike Atherton’s England’s cricketing Test easybeats were perennial embarrassments and the ruggah buggahs’ efforts at the last rugby World Cup caused much mirth around the rest of the globe. Both those outfits seem to have put their houses back in order and are performing well. Maybe it’s because they have Australian coaches with Trevor Bayliss overseeing a cricket revival while Eddie Jones has just masterminded a 3-0 whitewash against his native land down under.

In contrast Roy Hodgson has cut a sorry figure as England’s football leader, floundering somewhere between coy and clueless. Remember Roy was in charge at Blackburn Rovers from 1997 for one full season. His was a curious stay. His initial season started off like a runaway train with Rovers having some amazing results and leading the Premiership table. Post-Christmas things turned  into almost relegation form before sixth spot was secured on the final day with a last minute Chris Sutton winner against Newcastle United. When the bad results continued in the 1998-99 season, it was not long before Roy was sacked. I have watched Roy’s career since and was never quite convinced he was the real deal.

Apart from Roy, there has been a heavy Rovers connection at Euro 2016. Wales coach Chris Coleman played under Roy at Ewood. While pundits for beIN Sport have included ex-boss Graeme Souness, who was scathing about England’s woeful efforts. And rightly so. But no doubt the pampered Premiership poodles will toddle off to their clubs and forget about it all in a few weeks when the obscene amount of earnings continue to come cascading in. Alongside Graeme on various panels have been ex-players Michel Salgardo, Andrew Cole and Jason McAteer. All of them a wistful reminder of better times at Ewood.

However, it seems Roy certainly wasn’t the right fit at the helm for England. But he is a highly educated man. Maybe he could get a job in politics. There are suddenly plenty of opportunities on both sides of the House of Commons after the Brexit vote. What a turn-up that was. Such a shame that every time a Leave supporter was trotted out on Oz television for a Vox Pop, they seemed to be totally as thick as the proverbial docker’s butty and even dumb to the extent that they didn’t really comprehend what they had voted for. Maybe there should be an intelligence test before folk are allowed to cast their votes. It’s Australia’s turn this weekend. A general election. And it’s compulsory. But before then… bring on King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard for some high octane escapism.

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Burnley arrive for tribal tussle that holds genuine animosity

The nerves are starting to kick in. It’s derby time back home with our Claret chums from near the Yorkshire border dropping into Ewood for a Saturday dinner time date with Rovers (that’s lunchtime to the rest of the world outside northern England). Yes, I still call lunch dinner and confuse everybody but myself. And while the majority of people sit down for dinner, I still eat tea. It’s a 10pm kick-off Adelaide time live on the box so there will be plenty of time for both. I don’t even know if I’m looking forward to the game. For the first time in generations, Burnley will start favourites. They edged it last time, 2-1, on their way to an unlikely but probably deserved promotion to the Premier League. We hadn’t suffered that fate since 1979 as Rovers had mainly been able to lord it over ex-butcher Bob Lord’s club. It was a strange feeling and even from 12,000 miles away it’s not one that I want repeating. It is a derby that doesn’t hog the headlines but is a genuinely nasty confrontation both on and off the field. Visiting fans for both games have to be shipped in on coaches in specially policed convoys. The travel costs are incorporated into the price of the match ticket. It’s the only way to get into to the game. I did it myself for the Turf Moor FA Cup tie of 2005 and I found all the police cars at roundabouts and helicopters overhead like something out of an episode of DCI Banks. But the loathing among the fans is mutual. I just wonder what happens in any ‘neutral’ pub with supporters of both clubs watching the action live on telly in somewhere like Whalley. Maybe they need security there too. When Graeme Souness’s Rovers locked horns with Stan Ternent’s Burnley near Christmas 2000 in the first East Lancashire League derby for 17 years, both managers held a summit to tell the respective fans to behave themselves. The Sunday Times picked up on the fervour in the intro to its preview of hostilities. On the same day old foes Liverpool and Manchester United were going toe to toe and Arsenal were taking on Tottenham Hotspur. But The Sunday Times had a feel of what was brewing between the Clarets and Blue and Whites. The piece began: “Forget Liverpool v Manchester United or North London handbags, the real fierce derby action will be elsewhere today.” They had it right of course. As Rovers completed a 2-0 victory, incensed Burnley fans, unable to break the police cordon around the travelling Rovers’ revellers, decided to trash their own town. It is not the first time Burnley fans have shown their dim-witted attributes. And when I tell this tale to any outsiders, to this day they still look at me in disbelief. This weekend the Rovers v Burnley game will again be overshadowed by more high-profile local skirmishes with City visiting United in the Manchester conflagration while in the North-East Newcastle United nip down to Sunderland in the Tyne-Wear affair. I never sampled a North-East derby during my time working up there but I believe travel arrangements are pretty similar to East Lancashire. My Geordie mates Simon Malia, Ged Clarke, Mick Ramsay and Chris Baiyyyyynes assure me the atmosphere can be quite lively. Again, I wonder what it must be like in territory where loyalties are divided 50-50. Some of the pubs in South Shields would provide interesting viewing vicinities for that match on the box. So it should be a spicy weekend all round. Perhaps, the last word should go to Sir Alex Ferguson, who knows a thing or two about derby rivalries over the years in Scotland and Manchester. In one of his autobiographies he recounts how he used to receive regular abuse from other clubs’ fans when he went to see games to check out a player as a potential transfer target or sound out future opposition for his Manchester United side. This was in the early 90s when Rovers were tussling with United at the top of the Premier League. “I got stick from fans everywhere I went,” he recalled. “Except Burnley. There they would just say to me: ‘you can’t let them win the title, you just can’t’ ”. The ‘they’ referred to Rovers. Ferguson was amazed by the depth of feeling. “Jeez, I would love to see a derby between those two – there would probably be bodies lying around on the pitch.” Not quite, but you get the picture. Of course, Burnley were almost an irrelevance to us in those heady days which now seem so far away. Times change. So fasten your seat-belts for tomorrow’s encounter. It might be a bumpy ride.